🍒Chapter 39: He left decisively

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Shen Shuhan was silent for a moment before asking,

“How do you want me to help you?”

Shen Shuyi’s plan was vague, but his vision for the future was detailed. It was clear he had been thinking seriously about it these past few days.

Shen Shuhan was willing to help his younger brother study abroad. Seeing him motivated made him happy, and this was also the first time his brother had ever directly asked him for help.

But he didn’t quite believe Xie Chenzhou would simply allow Shen Shuyi to leave.

Shen Shuyi’s escape plan was set for three months later. With Shen Shuhan’s help, all the applications and paperwork for studying abroad went smoothly.

Fortunately, Xie Chenzhou only watched him closely at home. Whenever Shen Shuyi went out to the hospital, school, or to see Xie Cheng, Xie Chenzhou couldn’t control what he was doing.

Because of Xie Chenzhou’s condition, Shen Shuyi had on several occasions consulted Professor Dai under the pretense of “asking for a friend.” After learning that he was preparing to study abroad, Professor Dai introduced him to an old colleague in Country A who specialized in gender psychology. He said that Country A might hold new perspectives and breakthroughs in research on gender psychology and the Enigma gender, and if Shen Shuyi had the chance, he should talk to him.

Everything was ready now.

The only step left was to leave.

Two weeks remained before his departure.

That day happened to be Shen Shuyi’s birthday. He and Xie Chenzhou bought a cake to take home. Although Shen Shuyi had never mentioned when his birthday was, Xie Chenzhou already knew.

Shen Shuyi didn’t ask how. Instead, he prepared vitamins that looked exactly like the birth control pills Xie Chenzhou had always taken.

This time, they really were vitamins.

He had already decided he wanted to give Xie Chenzhou a baby.

That way, when he escaped, even if Xie Chenzhou lost control or went mad, perhaps he would hesitate because of the child.

Shen Shuyi wasn’t certain, but there was no time left.

Two weeks wasn’t much, and he didn’t even know if he could conceive in that time.

With a test strip, it would take at least two weeks before anything could show. Whether or not it worked, Shen Shuyi had resolved to tell Xie Chenzhou before leaving that he had swapped out the pills.

If the test strip couldn’t show a result, he would forge some evidence first.

If he really wasn’t pregnant, then he could try again after returning.

Would Xie Chenzhou even like children?

Shen Shuyi didn’t know.

He had only discovered a few months ago that Xie Chenzhou had feelings for him.

But he was sure of one thing. He liked Xie Chenzhou, and not only emotionally, but physically too.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t respond to him so easily, and the two of them wouldn’t lose control every time they were together.

He knew this decision was rash and unfair, both to Xie Chenzhou and to the baby. But this was the only way he could think of to help them both.

Xie Chenzhou was sincere with him, and Shen Shuyi believed that. He wanted to return that sincerity, even if some of Xie Chenzhou’s behavior seemed “strange” to others.

But Shen Shuyi sometimes felt they should have known each other long ago.

The first time Xie Chenzhou came to find him at school, when asked what he wanted to eat, he ordered zecaicai.

That dish had been popular in the small city where Shen Shuyi had once gone missing, especially at the orphanage where he had stayed.

Shen Shuyi no longer remembered much about life at the orphanage. A fever had erased most of it. But he remembered what Shen Shuhan once told him: that after he was brought back from the orphanage, for a while he especially loved eating zecaicai.

Maybe this was a kind of taste memory.

He had forgotten the life at the orphanage, but his taste buds remembered it.

That night, Shen Shuyi asked Uncle Qian to prepare a bottle of red wine. With the courage of alcohol, he talked with Xie Chenzhou, and managed to draw a few words out of his usually silent mouth.

Xie Chenzhou said,

“There’s nothing to say. You forgot me a long time ago.”

He was right.

Memories remembered by only one person didn’t mean much.

Shen Shuyi got drunk again.

He reminded Xie Chenzhou not to take so many birth control pills, saying they were bad for his health and that maybe sometimes he could take them instead. But Xie Chenzhou still took them.

He said,

“You wouldn’t want a child with me. You’d give birth to a monster. So I’d rather keep taking them, until I can’t give you a child at all.”

Drunk, Shen Shuyi didn’t understand. He only kissed the corner of his lips hazily.

Then he felt Xie Chenzhou bury his face in his neck, biting him while muttering,

“Anyway, you’ve already forgotten me.”

That night, Shen Shuyi dreamed.

He dreamed of his younger self at a familiar orphanage, reaching out his hand toward a very good-looking older boy.

Their hands clasped tightly together.

Two weeks later, Shen Shuyi left.

He left decisively, without taking any luggage, only his documents.

He couldn’t pack at home, because Xie Chenzhou would notice. He had planned to buy everything new after leaving.

That day, he asked Xie Chenzhou to drop him at the university hospital, then turned around and went straight to the airport.

He had even contacted Chen Xin in advance, asking him not to reveal his whereabouts to Xie Chenzhou.

Chen Xin already knew Xie Chenzhou’s gender. Shen Shuyi didn’t hide much from him, sharing his general plan but not specifying exactly where he would study.

Even though his field only had a few possible destinations, Chen Xin still admired him.

He said,

“I always thought Xie Chenzhou wasn’t ordinary. Compared to most Enigmas, he has more self-control. What’s even rarer is his social ability and conscience. My teacher and I, that’s the one prescribing him meds. we’ve always agreed that Enigmas tend to have extreme personalities, with lots of crazy thoughts. It’s extremely hard to get them to cooperate in clinical research. That’s why medical research into Enigmas is still shallow. Another reason is that Enigmas are too dangerous. Once people know their gender, they don’t dare get close. No one wants to risk their life to study them.”

“But when I saw you, and knowing your field, I thought maybe there’s hope. I hope you can study well abroad, and maybe bring something new to our academic community.”

Bearing Chen Xin’s heavy expectations, Shen Shuyi left.

Before leaving, he left behind a pregnancy test stick showing two lines, along with a note telling Xie Chenzhou not to come after him. He asked him to at least wait until the glands on the back of his neck disappeared. Once everything returned to normal, he promised to contact him.

At first, abroad, Shen Shuyi struggled to adapt.

He had never traveled so far before.

But he had a trait: he could digest his emotions quickly and adjust easily. After some discomfort, he gradually settled in.

He applied for Omega medical insurance in Country A. That was one reason he had chosen to study there, the protections for Omegas were very comprehensive. He explained in his application that he wasn’t truly an Omega, only temporarily growing glands due to Enigma hormones, but that he would experience heat and needed medical support.

The medical system in Country A was very open-minded. After confirming his case, they gave him a fast-track pass and provided him with a Beta-specific suppressant.

It turned out, in Country A, Betas affected by Enigma hormones sometimes also grew temporary glands. After testing many medications, they had developed a suppressant suitable for Shen Shuyi’s condition.

This reassured him that he had chosen the right place.

In Country A, with its diversity and immigrant population, awareness of gender was more open. People didn’t confine themselves to the traditional eight ABOE genders. They believed people had both a physical gender and a psychological one. For example, someone might appear Omega, but their true gender identity could be Alpha.

For Shen Shuyi, this had pros and cons.

The good part was that he no longer had to cover the back of his neck with band-aids, and no one would think it strange. The bad part was that many assumed his psychological gender was Omega, and that he had undergone surgery to change from Beta to Omega. That was common in Country A, so most people treated him as Omega.

Even though his glands were smaller than normal Omegas’, and no one could smell his pheromones.

After a year abroad, Shen Shuyi truly felt the difference between Beta and Omega.

As a Beta, no one paid attention to him. As an Omega, walking down the street, his return rate was ninety percent. Everyone praised his looks. Even when, within three months of arriving, his belly began to swell with pregnancy, he still had no shortage of admirers.

Many assumed he had been abandoned, raising a child alone while studying. Seeing him with limited means, working hard with a belly, they pitied him. Within three months, he received over twenty love letters and five in-person confessions from people willing to help raise him and his child.

Shen Shuyi found it a little frightening. Back home, he had never been so popular. By late pregnancy, he avoided going out except between school, dorm, and work.

At thirty-seven weeks, just before his due date, Shen Shuhan sent a huge package overseas: maternity supplies, diapers, formula, everything. He also wired him a large sum, urging him to quit working and rest until the baby was born.

Across half the globe, he was even more nervous than Shen Shuyi, calling several times a day to check on him. But for many reasons, he couldn’t go in person. He also had to keep Shen Shuyi’s whereabouts secret from Xie Chenzhou. He was afraid that if he went, Xie Chenzhou would follow.

Shen Shuyi asked about Xie Chenzhou. Shen Shuhan said he seemed normal, still as oppressive as before. He didn’t dare get close, and the two rarely interacted, so he didn’t know his exact condition.

But Shen Shuyi’s temporary glands would take over a year to fade. Until then, no matter what, he couldn’t meet Xie Chenzhou.

Pregnancy was exhausting. Waiting for labor was exhausting. When contractions started and childbirth loomed, Shen Shuyi even regretted it.

He thought, If I had known, I shouldn’t have swapped out those pills.

For the first time, he almost didn’t want the baby.

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*Translator: 

• Aaaaaah This chapter has me squealing, mpreg arc unlocked! I’m already emotionally adopting the baby before it’s even born lol.